On Saturday July 19th, VIXX held their first solo concert ‘VIXX LIVE FANTASIA HEX SIGN’ at the Olympic Hall in Seoul Olympic Park for the second day. On this day VIXX had no idea that I brought 20 female acquaintances with me to the concert. Idol concerts reminded me of the ‘Speed…
This summer, my room mates and I decided to create our own stories. These stories are fictional and the main characters are some of our favorite artists of different K-pop groups.
It was a Wattpad-like site for asian fan fictions.
So, I tried to create a story that can capture the hearts of the readers like the authors did for me. But the main point of making these kind of stories is for me to share my creativeness and maybe improve my composition skills. :)
I was having a hard time updating my stories because I feel like my story was not good enough. I was tempted to delete my story because I feel like it lacks something. It is not exciting enough and the story is quite slow. But then 2 random people commented on one of my stories and they made me want to continue my story. I would like to thank these two who commented and I will try my best to finish my story with a bang! :)
I don’t want this anymore.
I hope what I will do will be for the better.
For the both of us.
Love one’s self before loving others.
It’s been a while since I posted something personal on my blog.
I just want to say that I’m very sorry to those people who followed me before I became a very very very hardcore K-Pop fan. I am sorry because some of my posts appear on your dashboard (even though I’m pretty sure my posts don’t but still). I’m sorry also for my friends and followers in my other social networking accounts that are not a fan of K-Pop.
I have been hiding something really big inside of me that I can’t seem to let out. I am so confused and lost right now. One night, I told my friend that I have the habit of getting attached to small things. Okay. Attached might be an understatement. I have the habit of getting super infatuated with little things like loom bands, K-pop, and other kinds of things as well. Last night, I told my friend that I felt so devastated when I heard that Fourth (from PBB) got evicted out of Kuya’s house. I even felt more devastated when I saw Fifth’s (from PBB) reaction when his twin brother got evicted. I cried and cried at the sight I was seeing from our television. I admitted to this friend of mine that I was crying and pouring my anger out on the sofa I was sitting on and my friend texted me a message that made me feel that I am really a pathetic person.
My friend texted me:
"YANI YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS. SNAP OUT OF IT. makikita mo naman siya ulit eh :)) madami naman siyang fans eh :) kasama ka na dun :))"
That was the text. What really struck me out like lightning was the first sentence. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS. SNAP OUT OF IT. It keeps on playing and playing inside my head and I can’t help but agree. I am better than this. I know too well what are the things that will make me a great person in the future. Also, I know what are the petty little things that will crumble me to death if I kept on doing it. Kpop especially.
Some people deal with their addiction with drugs, with alcohol and with sex. While all of them can really be dangerous to one’s self, my addiction to K-pop can destroy me as well.
But why can’t I keep away from this fucking K-pop? What made me so attached to these people? I don’t even understand what their saying! Those artists don’t even know me in person and even if I meet them at one of their fansign events in the future, I’m sure they’ll forget about me the moment they get up the day after. Why am I chasing after people who doesn’t even know me, who doesn’t even love me, and who doesn’t even know my own language?
Some don’t even appreciate their fans. Some don’t even sing on stage. Some don’t even put their 100% on their performances.
It’s because they took a piece of my heart. Is that all?
Yes. That’s all they took away from to make me this addicted to them. I love them very much. How they smile at their fans, how they dress when they’re at the airport, how they look when they have make-up and when they don’t have make-up, how their face move when they sing, when they laugh and when they cry, how their body moves, how long their arms and legs are, how are they different from other K-pop groups and how they are different from their members.
We, fans, notice things that are not even worth noticing in the eyes of others. To us, it makes us a little bit connected to our idols. It makes our heart complete again. This feeling in our chest becomes very tight, tight because we’re happy, contented, even. We watch shows where they are the guests of the show and they share a part of their lives with us and we’re okay with that. We’re already screaming like little girls when they receive barbies for Christmas.
When they wink, when they give the fans a flying kiss and when they do aegyo (cute little acts), that takes us to a higher level of being high with too much happiness.
As another friend said:
It’s worse if the one you love doesn’t even love you back. But for us international fans, it’s even worse because they don’t even know us.
Not exact words.
So yeah. What to do. Almost everything I do now is because of them. That is what makes me happy and sad at the same time.